Our first day :)

Today is our first day..... :)

Sorry to make u wait me for 2 hours... Jus wanna say thank you and sorry for waiting.... Hope it won't make u think too much... thx

Our first date : 21/8/09
Place: Station 1, tmn pertama

I'm very happy tat being caring by u :)... thx you
And by today i knew u more ad...... have a sweet day with you...
Dun worry will go in to ur world to see see also geh... :)

So i will record down the moment with u started today....

Thanks ivy for the blessing and also the movie ticket for us... thank you!

The more u suffer the more i hate myself

After wake up from a short sleep.... i suddenly cry... wat happened to me?? i really dun know....

I felt that the more u suffer the more my heart pain.... and the more i hate myself...
I hate the feeling now.... pls... the only thing tat i want from u is as long as u happy....

Pls promise me dun be so sad....

This few days

This few days a lot of things happened............ i very confusing with the things tat i did...... I still asking myself am i correct to do it... let him know about my feeling, hug and kissing......

I felt bad and sorry to him.... when i felt he is very sad i feel like wanna cry.... and crying..
If not because of me i think he is not tat suffer lor..... Are u really that love me so deep? is it worth that u do this? and a lot and a lot of question in my mind..........

I jus wan him to b happy and hope he will get well soon..........

U know wat? The moment that u say wanna talk to her and ask me to wait u... i really very scare and felt bad.... I really dun know what to say to make u feel better and dun be so sad.... the only things tat i can do is jus sit there and accompany u.... Just wait u to call me to accompany u....

I really wanted to say sorry to u........... sorry that i bring u to the suffer world... sorry panda monkey.........


And now still not the right time for us to start.......... when u recovered then we only talk about tis.... jus wanna u to get well soon..... GAMBATEH... there's no one can help u axcept urself.....

Actually when i see u so suffer i rather than not telling u all my feeling.... and try to be the so poh and keep it to myself and keep it forever................

Last word tat i wanna to say is......... SORRY!! :'(

After the chat on tuesday

After the chat on tuesday nite..... i onli knew his feeling.... may b i not confidence with myself...

He really think a lot of himself, me and her.... He think of all the consequences and so on....

I can't believe that i hurt him so much during this few days... I really indirectly hurt him that until i also not realise and is tot my decision and action is for his own good... I really did not think for him.... Sorry for that... i will try to understand u more.... and thanks for sharing with me...

I very happy that u share ur feeling with me.. :)

Congratulation to Ling (my mui mui)

Ling... Congratulation to u!! The effort that u put in did not wasted... coz it let u to get the distinction gold metal...

Wow... I really proud of u!! Gambateh with what u like....

After this must have a good rest....

Will find one day celebrate with u :)

Tuesday 11/8/09

Loving someone and cannot b together is a damm... hard and sad...

But i shd face it... sometimes reality is reality... So jus accept it..

Just wanna let u know that because of love u so i will not force u to do any choice and jus wan u to be urself.... Happy forever... pls don't think too much if not i will blame myself to going in to ur world.... jus assume me are those ppl jus passby ur life... and might left some memory but ur life still need to go on without me... so must continue with ur life and try to make ur life better so that only won't let the ppl that love u dissapointed :)

So pls don't be unhappy... coz if u not happy also will influence me... :(

Dun worry... everythings will be fine......
Yeah... as what u said we jus need some times.... :)

And dun worry about me... coz i will be strong :)

Monday 10/8/2009

Yesterday having the good time of eating ice creams.... Actually we miss of each other... i dun know y this feeling like this... I knew tat this feeling coming in the wrong time...

I try my very to control myself not to be too close with you.... But i dun know y.... it seem like a fate or the challenge from god.... Seem like he knew what am i thinking.... He trying to make me happy and my emotion make him worry about me.... I ngm yan sam to make him worry.... finally i can't control myself to make him happy....

At night,we having the dinner together coz his family are not in KL.... I try not to tell him what i felt..... but at the end we go to his house to have a sit... After that he send me home..... b4 i going to my house... we have a hug and a goodnite kiss....

I thinks we really did a wrong things.... we shd not like tat....
I felt tat i'm totally wrong.... that's dun have a reason can make me felt i'm right. I should not tell u that i got the same feeling with u..... Pls who can help me??

I really scare coz i scare the more i gave the deep hurt we will got.....

Sorry for that.... we should stop it.... coz i dun wan to be the....... and hurt a innocent ppl....

Sorry... let this be our good memory and keep it in our heart.

3/8/2009 Monday

Today really very blur and not in the good mood... May b because of not sleeping well and tired...

And got a lot of work to do leh... Huh...

And sorry to making u worry and saying those non-sense things....
I really didn't means it... Hope u can forgive me :'(

Love someone really very difficult....
But i knew tat LOVE someone is trying to give someone the best tat u can and without thinking of any returns.

I hope tat this is a good decision and this is the things tat i can give :)

PC Fair 31/7-2/8

Working in PC fair for 3 days... is damm tired.... But happy and enjoy during this period... I learned a lot of things. Next time when ppl giving me the flyers i will take it... because not taking this will make the one who giving the flyers very disappointed....

This fair let me and you have a 2nd times we can see each others 7days a week... I'm very happy to work with u... thx for having fun during these 3 days...

And the last day is the most happy... coz we can have lunch togather, dinner togather and also supper (mcD ice cream) together. And i manage to how a lot of games... thx for giving this chance for me... PIC and ivy :)

PS: Although the moment is short but... is sweet and felt comfortable... Thx :)

Finally we make the decision :)

Today i felt......... about our relationship coz we don't know how to do the next step.....

At last i start to requested to request for the remain of gor gor and mui mui relationship.... Although it hurt but we got no choice.... I just can said tat i dun wan to b the 3rd party.... It hurt for u and her....

So this decision is the best decision.... Dun worry time will cure it....
Although it heartbroke.... actually me too.... I can feel what u felt... and the sadness... but we must face it.... The things tat i wan to say is sorry.... sorry tat i been going to ur world... I shd not go in to ur world.... but luckily we know where we stand.... :)

You will always be my good and lovely gor gor. Thank you for that :)

I found the reason

After finish writing the gor gor and mui mui relationship.... Saturday tat day, u told me somethings.... OMG.... I really can't believe that.... My mind keep asking myself.... am i choose the wrong time to go for the trip and why u are there and got such feeling?

The things tat i wanted to tell u is... i also got the feeling... jus can't said out... because i dun wan to be the third party to influence you and ur gf relationship.... Is it a fate? I'm not sure... but i jus know tat i will try to not hurt you or your gf.... This is wat i promise to myself....

Actually this really challenging me.... I do not know tat y u will got the feeling on me.... but i really scare.... If any decision tat i made will hurt u for rite now... pls forgive me... my heart also will be very pain... but i will try not to let u know... because this is the things tat i can do for u...

I don't wan u to be the bad guy to hurt ur gf and i dun dare to start our relationship because i scare this kind of relationship not be bleesing by ppl and there will be a long and difficult way for us to go if we are together....

Huh.... God... pls help me... i felt very exhausted coz i really dun know how to face this kind of relationship.... :(
God... pls give me some hints.... THX

Today.... i dun know is it a mistake... i really having a good evening with u... the time is so relax... :) Thank you